Staying Resilient through Difficult Social Interactions by Grace Dannemiller
This was me enjoying the little things by getting matcha with a friend!
Hey, it’s Grace! Starting my first semester at a college with 66,000 students has given me the chance to meet more people than ever before. Some people I connect with instantly, others I have a great time with but may never see again, and with some, unfortunately, the vibe just isn’t there. It’s a natural part of life; we don’t click with everyone, and that’s okay, but it can still feel disappointing sometimes. To stay grounded during all of these social interactions, I make sure I keep my mental toolkit packed with all of my favorite things I’ve learned that keep me from getting too discouraged.
Recently, I was excited to hang out with a friend and meet some of their friends. But I soon realized we were quite different, and they didn’t seem to like me or treat me very well. Thankfully, one tool in my kit is my personal mantra: “Have a cry, pick myself up, and keep going.” I really value my ability to express my feelings and let myself feel whatever it is I feel about the situation, but I equally value my ability to then pick myself back up again and keep living because I can’t let anyone else decide the fate of my day but me.
At the end of my day, I like to use another tool to check in with myself: self-talk. I’ll ask, “Did I have a good day?” Sometimes I initially think, “No” if someone was rude or if I made a mistake. But then I remember the positive parts: going to a cafe with a friend, being productive, taking care of myself—all the little wins. And I usually come to the conclusion that a bad hour doesn’t cancel out the other 23 good ones.
Two years ago, I would have taken that social rejection pretty hard, and I would have tried to change myself to be someone that they liked more. But now I can brush myself off and keep going because I like and respect the person that I am, and I remember that I have plenty of loved ones that like me too. I get to be confident in myself because I worked really hard to get to where I am now, and I appreciate all I’ve done for myself. So even if not everyone likes me, I hold firmly to my personal code: don’t let anyone take my energy, and don’t take energy from anyone else. I’ve learned to protect my own spirit and stay true to myself, and that’s how I live with resilience.
Resilience isn’t about ignoring pain; it’s about feeling it and deciding to keep going. Every day brings something unexpected, and things rarely go exactly as planned. And every day I have to choose resilience because it doesn’t come naturally; it’s just another tool in our toolkit that we had to work hard to build and we have to remember to carry every day.
Additional tools for when you may be in crisis:
U.S. Crisis Text Line: 741-741
Ohio Mobile Response and Stabilization Services: 1-888-418-MRSS (6777)