Two Roads, One Mind by Angelia Schmerr
My relationship with my mind tends to take one of two paths: understanding friend or rebellious enemy.
Sometimes, my mind is a curious companion. Like when I’m writing, I can feel a steady flow between us, and I feel like we're aligned in purpose. At these times, I am productive and confident. My mind and I are collaborative partners or friends working toward the same end. We trust each other.
However, there are also times when my mind seems to go off in its own direction, like a stubborn, rebellious part of me that just won't listen.
When my thoughts begin to spiral into negativity, I internally send a message to my mind, “It’s okay, we’ve been here before. We’ve got this. Let’s just slow down and think about this more rationally before we act.”
The biggest challenge, though, is learning to not fight with my mind. I used to try and completely subject my mind to my authority by immediately shutting off every negative thought—like flipping a light switch. However, I’ve realized this method simply does not work, so now I’m working on accepting my mind as an unpredictable partner who I can't always control.
There’s no point in trying to shut off my mind when it’s trying to voice an opinion or idea.
Instead, I try to listen to my mind, understand what it’s reacting to, and then guide it toward something more balanced. It’s less about trying to force my mind into submission and more about creating meaningful dialogue with it. I remind myself that my mind isn’t supposed to be my enemy, even when I feel like it’s being difficult or unreasonable.
I used to get really frustrated with myself for not being able to control my thoughts because they would lead to anxiety. But now, I try to talk to my mind with more compassion. I’ll acknowledge the worry and say something like, “Okay, I hear you. I understand you’re scared, but let’s try to look at this logically, one step at a time.” It’s a way of validating the feelings without letting my thoughts take over.
The goal for me is to find harmony in this relationship, to respect my mind's needs without letting it control my life. Through the Hey, I’m Here Ohio Squad, I’m learning even more now about how to embrace my mind’s complexities—its highs and lows—while setting boundaries and asking for cooperation when I need it. It's a slow process, but I think my mind and I are making much needed progress. I don’t expect perfection. I just want us to work better together.
Additional tools for when you may be in crisis:
U.S. Crisis Text Line: 741-741
Ohio Mobile Response and Stabilization Services: 1-888-418-MRSS (6777)