Checking In When Needed by Raelin Bell
How can we check in with ourselves and others? I’ve found myself asking this question over and over again. Am I a good friend? Am I fully listening to what they are saying? Am I doing enough? Am I engaging in this conversation? Am I taking care of myself? What do I need today? These questions play in my head time and time again as I reflect on what it means to be present with others as well as myself.
I find that the best way to check in not only with myself but with others as well is by simply showing forms of compassion.
Compassion can be shown in so many ways. It can be shown through a gesture like a hug or shoulder rub. It can be shown through acknowledging that you care and you are here to show your love and support. Being compassionate is one of the most important qualities a person can have. It makes us all who we are and each of us are unique in the ways we handle situations.
I’m a big empath and for me compassion comes naturally. Being compassionate with myself is more difficult. Sometimes I forget that I don’t need to be perfect, I am human and some days are simply harder than others.
It’s important to show yourself compassion too. A few ways I’ve learned to show myself compassion are as follows:
Taking it easy some days.
Resting.
Setting time aside to focus on my needs.
Being gentle and kind with myself.
Reminding myself I am worthy.
Writing down things I like about myself.
I find myself checking in with me each day. It all starts in the morning with a self care routine. Taking a moment to breathe, drink my coffee, brush my teeth, fix my hair, get dressed for the day and think about my needs and goals are all a form of how I check in with myself.
I like to keep my days organized and in a routine for them to flow nicely. I find myself reflecting on the evening before often and thinking of things that I could possibly do differently to make my life easier and flow more efficiently. Maybe I need to rest more today or maybe I’m needing to be a little more active. Checking in with myself is about more than physical needs, it’s about my mental and emotional needs as well. What is making me happy? Why do I feel anxious? Do I need to talk to someone about my feelings? All of these questions are ways I can check in with myself in order to figure out why I am feeling the way I feel.
I think of all the things I enjoy in life such as being around my family, friends, listening to music, taking a walk and making sure my home is nice and tidy; within these things I find myself checking in. I make sure to prioritize some time for myself and to remind myself that I am important and my needs deserve to be met.
Checking in with others is one of my favorite things to do. I love checking in with both my friends and family on a daily basis. I want to ensure we are staying in touch as well as making sure they are doing well. A few ways I find myself checking in on them is by sending a simple "how are you today?" message or by telling them that I miss them and growing our conversation from there.
Checking in with those around us is a great way to show them that you love them and are thinking of them. When someone checks in on me it reminds me that they care about me and that I was on their mind, which is a great feeling.
Another way to ensure I am fully engaging when checking in with others is to make sure I am giving them my full attention. It’s so important to listen without judgment, especially when someone is having a rough day. I also like to offer encouraging advice to my family and friends to let them know I am here and they are capable of doing anything they set their minds to. Checking in with your friends and family is such a simple thing to do and could make their day so much better, you truly never know what someone else is going through. It’s important to always be kind to everyone.
There are many ways you can check in with yourself and others. I’ve learned that these methods are what checking in means to me. It means showing compassion for yourself and those around you. It means being respectful, engaging and showing gestures of love. Whether we realize it or not, we are checking in every single day in some way or another with not only ourselves but those around us as well.
Additional tools for when you may be in crisis:
U.S. Crisis Text Line: 741-741
Ohio Mobile Response and Stabilization Services: 1-888-418-MRSS (6777)