3 Quotes I Live by Rina
Throughout my mental health journey, I’ve seen a lot of inspirational messages in aesthetics images scattered throughout classrooms and google image search results. I used to dismiss them as unrealistically positive gibberish, but over the years I’ve found a few that resonated with me.
Here’s three of them:
“The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried” - Stephen McCranie
I often find myself giving up on things I’m interested in if I don’t meet my expectations for myself on my first try. I love drawing, and I’ve found that it helps calm me down when I’m stressed, but every time I think about drawing something, I hesitate. I remember that I lack the skill to draw as well as I want to, and I give up, putting down my sketchbook and finding something else to do instead.
Improvement won't happen if I don't practice, but I struggle to practice because I don't enjoy my work. Yet, I won't like my work unless I practice. It's a frustrating cycle that has made me abandon many of my dreams.
After finding this quote, I’ve started to change my expectations of myself when I try something new.
Whenever I do something that I’m not super experienced with, such as drawing, I hold myself to the standard of a child that would have had the same amount of experience as me, which is usually a first grader. So if I would be impressed with a first grader doing what I did, I’m impressed with myself.
2. “The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is today.” - Unknown
I actually only found this quote a day ago as of writing this; it’s been simmering in my head ever since. I have so, so many things that I’ve wanted to do in the past but never did. Learning ASL, cooking lo mein, and reading One Piece are the first ones that came to mind.
The quote got me thinking about how much I wish I went through with at least one goal on that list. If I had started learning ASL four years ago, I would have been able to silently communicate with my friends that know the language. If I got my parents to buy the oyster sauce I was missing to make lo mein back when I was starting to cook on my own and had more motivation to cook different meals, I would easily be able to make it whenever I wanted to eat it now. If I started reading One Piece when I first gained interest in the series, I would be caught up by now and be able to bond with a lot of people over the series.
If I started now, future-me won’t have to think these same thoughts. Years from now, I’ll be sitting down signing in ASL with someone from across the room, or eating freshly made lo mein, or geeking out over how intense the latest One Piece chapter was, and “I would” will become “I can”.
3. “If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.” - Jane Travis
I used to be my #1 hater. I would bash every part of myself— I was too fat, too hairy, too loud, too sensitive, too weird, too slow. Or, at least that’s what I would tell myself. It was like being in an xbox game lobby with a toxic 12-year-old, but 24/7.
The first time I realized that the traits I was criticizing myself for weren’t something I would care about if they were part of someone else was while hanging out with a close friend of mine in sixth grade. I used to be extremely insecure about having a lot of arm hair, and wore a jacket every single time I went out solely to cover up my arms. But one day, while playing Wii Sports with my friend, I noticed that she also had hairy arms. In fact, her arms were hairier than mine were. Of course, her having prominent arm hair didn’t diminish her value as a person and a friend. It didn’t matter at all. ’But… If it doesn’t matter if someone else has arm hair, does that mean it shouldn’t matter if I have arm hair either?’
This epiphany challenged everything I thought about myself. Every time I would shame a specific feature of myself, I would pause and ask myself, ‘Would I shame the same feature if it was someone else?’.
There are definitely people out there that have the same body size, nose shape, personality type, etc. as me, and insulting those parts of myself would mean I was insulting those parts of other people too. Just because someone doesn’t fit the societal beauty standard doesn’t mean they’re ugly or flawed, and—although it’s taking me time to truly full heartedly believe it—that includes myself.
Words alone can’t magically fix a person’s problems, but sometimes, when you’re struggling and are thinking about giving up, a positive message or good advice can be what you need to get back up and keep going. If these quotes don’t relate to or inspire you, I encourage you to take a few minutes to scour for some that do. Remember, amidst life's challenges, a well-timed positive message can be the catalyst to keep moving forward.
Additional tools for when you may be in crisis:
U.S. Crisis Text Line: 741-741
Ohio Mobile Response and Stabilization Services: 1-888-418-MRSS (6777)