4 Tips to Cope with Change - by Kaylea Dillon

changing directions sign posts in sunset

I don’t think I can count the number of times I have heard “one of the constants in life is change.” This saying has left me with rage, hope, exhaustion, and everything in-between. Yet, it’s true isn’t it? We all go through phases in our lives. Sometimes it's a favorite meal, sometimes it is a song or album, sometimes it's a period of personal struggle, other times it is a period of relaxation.

Think about what phase you are in. Do you want to stay in that phase? If the answer is no, there is a chance you are feeling hopeless.

It is okay to feel that way.

Maybe the answer is yes — and you want to stay in this part of your life forever…

It is okay to feel that way.

Today we are going to talk about some of the ways to cope with the many feelings that come up when there are changes. I have a few tips to guide you on how to do just that.

My first tip today is just acknowledging that the change is happening. I have the habit of wanting to run from change. I like my schedule and everything a specific way and it has taken time for me to learn how to accept change as it comes. When I first moved away from home there were a lot of feelings that came with it. It is exciting to be striking out on your own in the world! But there are also a lot of unknowns and fears that have to be confronted.
It is important to take the time to acknowledge that your feelings about the change are valid. They are what you feel and no one can take that away from you.
Even good change can be scary. It can be easy to minimize this especially if everyone around you is expressing excitement.
Second, I challenge you to take some time and come up with a list of emotions you are feeling. Even just say them outloud. How does that feel?
If this is challenging for you, take some time to practice some safe coping strategies like breathing or journaling to help these emotions feel less overwhelming.
I really enjoy writing out my emotions and thoughts on a change for a period of a couple days. I am able to look back and see how parts of the change become easier to overcome (like figuring out how to pay for laundry) and some parts may become more challenging (how will I see my family).
Change is going to happen in your life, so taking the time to reflect on it can lead to a deeper understanding of the change and in turn yourself.
Next up for my tips for change is to be mindful of how you are treating yourself through the change. Personally, when I am experiencing any big change my best self-care strategies seem to go out the window. Taking the time to keep the routines you do have in place, really impacts my emotions about the change as a whole.
When I moved out, I made sure I could still get to the gym, eat the same food, and wake up at the same time. This allowed me to better be able to cope with the new challenges that presented themselves in a seemingly endless stream. Other times I have let all my good habits slip away when I needed them most.
What is one good habit you can try to maintain during this period of change? I know firsthand how challenging this can be, but I believe in you!
My final tip for dealing with change is to turn to (not away!) from your support system. Think about the people close to you. Maybe they are even expressing their excitement for the change you have coming up. Maybe they are consoling you. Maybe they are friends, teachers, parents, therapists, or coworkers.
I know when I am faced with big life events sometimes the last thing I want to do is talk about it.
Remember, that’s okay!
Your trusted people can distract you for a time as well. It can be beneficial to take to do something else if you are overthinking things like I tend to do. If you do need to talk, they will be there to listen; And if you need them to tone down their excitement, they can do that too.
If you are struggling to think of any trusted people, I am sorry. I know that is a tough spot to be in. 988 is a crisis lifeline where you can call or text with someone that cares about and wants to hear from you. Per their website (988 lifeline.org):

No matter what problems you’re dealing with, whether or not you’re thinking about suicide, if you need someone to lean on for emotional support, call the Lifeline. People call to talk about lots of things: substance abuse, economic worries, relationships, sexual identity, getting over abuse, depression, mental and physical illness, and loneliness, to name a few.

Talking to people is an important part of processing emotions especially when dealing with change (good and bad). If you are interested in talking to other youth (like me) who take about some of these subjects and mental health join the squad!

Change is hard. I have dealt with my fairshare and I am sure I will deal with a ton more. These tips don’t solve or prevent a change from happening, but they can make it a bit more manageable. I hope you are able to take these skills and use them the next time any time of big change comes your way. I hope we will all change the way we think about change for the better.