Inner Guidance: Trusting Yourself Through Doubt by Reben Drummer
Intuition and fear are two distinct forces that can influence decision-making. Intuition often stems from a deeper, subconscious understanding of a situation or problem. It's that gut feeling or instinct that guides us without necessarily relying on unconscious reasoning. When you make a choice based on intuition, it feels like you’re following your gut instinct. It’s like your inner voice saying, “ This just feels right.” You don’t need to overthink it; it just clicks naturally. You know the answer without even having to analyze it. On the other hand, choices made out of insecurity or fear are often driven by negative emotions and doubts about oneself or the situation at hand.
When making a choice based on intuition, there’s a sense of clarity and alignment with one’s true self. It feels like a natural, effortless flow, devoid of doubt or anxiety. Intuitive choices often resonate with a deeper inner knowing, even if they cant be logically explained at the time.
I believe intuition is its own category aside from emotions and energy. They all coexist together.
When was the last time you went with your gut instinct? Did you doubt your intuition? Were you satisfied with the outcome?
I bring these questions to the front because I sit on the latter of this discussion. I majorly make choices out of insecurity or fear. I doubt my intuition a lot and more often than not, I end up disregarding it all together.
As we were having our monthly Squad meeting, discussing gut instincts and even in previous discourse about energy and how it transfers, I came to the realization that there is such a lack of trust with myself. I'm like a chameleon, in the sense where I shift my stance and comfortability to fit a situation and/or person. Of course, I have my opinions and I can think for myself in my solitude, but I feel such an obligation to cater to others’ energy which in turn depletes my ability to truly comprehend my own energy and instincts as a “what would I do” scenario instead of a “what would someone in my position do”.
Decisions made out of insecurity or fear are characterized by doubt, hesitation, and discomfort. These choices typically arise from a place of self-doubt or a fear of failure, rejection, or uncertainty. They may stem from past experience, societal pressures, or a lack of confidence in one’s abilities. Instead of feeling aligned and empowered, decisions made out of insecurity often leave a lingering sense of unease or regret. The little voice in my head is going, “What if this goes wrong?” or “Am I good enough for this?”. I would like to think this stems from childhood and my severe people pleasing tendencies. If I was with my mom, she never questioned why I did the things I did, and chose to say the things I do. She trusts my intuition better than I do. But if I was with my father, everything I did was critiqued. I guess he assumed because I look like him that I was supposed to act like him too but that was never the case.
I'm very secure in my intellectual intelligence, but not my emotional intelligence. Besides my mom, there has always been someone nitpicking my empathy and selflessness. When you constantly hear the same negativities about yourself, of course it becomes an insecurity. You try your hardest to either hide it or fix it, so fingers won’t be pointed. And that's how self-doubt begins to manifest.
But let's not be so negative. We could discuss all the things that need to be tweaked, twisted, and turned for the sake of becoming our best self but as I travel through a long-awaited journey of self discovery, we should also be discovering the positives. You know the best thing about choices, you can make so many of them. There have been a multitude of times where I have made some very doubtful decisions, until the right choice for me just clicked.
We all deserve a “good job!” for even taking the time to roll out of bed and consciously think about how our thoughts and actions truly affect us.
Additional tools for when you may be in crisis:
U.S. Crisis Text Line: 741-741
Ohio Mobile Response and Stabilization Services: 1-888-418-MRSS (6777)