Past-Me, Do you want me? by Jackleen Guo
Dear Past-Me,
I think you wouldn’t be surprised at who you are today. Even though I'm now a kpop-fan, which unfortunately is something you used to despise in the past, especially since it meant “being like the other girls”. But you’ve grown to understand that there are benefits to fitting in and learning from others. And there’s a reason why kpop is so popular!
I don’t think you would enjoy learning that I’m now attending a college in Boston. Because it’s your sister’s college, how could I find my own place here when it’s a school made for people like your sister? But I think you would be surprised to know that you actually made a bunch of friends here and there’s never a day that goes by without more than one person seeking you out to eat a meal with, study with, or just smiling as a passerby. . Remember, you’ve always wanted to go to college in Boston. You love this city. It’s safe, charming, historic, and everything you’ve wanted just a T ride away. Your drive to chase dreams and strive for change will let you reach those heights you only dreamed about years prior. You will make it, your hard-work will pay off.
Past-Me, I wonder how you feel today? How many hours did you spend reading on your bed– how many hours did you spend thinking all those negative thoughts? Did the world crumble again today? Did you learn something more to spite those around you again?
Past-Me, you’re going to take a lot more hits, lose some friends, gain them back, shed so many tears, and hurt yourself so many more times. But I would like to say that you’re doing alright now.
You have a job, you have friends, you’re closer to your family, you understand what the future holds for you. The future isn’t a deep dark hole made with walls coated in hot oil, but rather, it’s a rocky mountain-leading to a plateau and you’ll reach that comfortable plateau one day when you’re old.
Past-Me, you are filled with anger, fear, and confusion. But the more time you spend thinking about the journeys you’ve taken and believing that you deserve good things too, you will begin to shed those negative thoughts.
In the Hey, I’m Here Squad, I learned about mantras. My mantra is “Kind, smart, funny, and
LOVE4EVR”. While that last one is super goofy, it never fails to make me smile and remind myself that I’m doing something better today than I did yesterday by just surviving the day and getting up. Past-Me, I think you would fall in love with who you have become and enjoy your future. So don’t worry about it, time will show you how to love those quirks that make you unique.
So, Past-Me, what do you say? Do you want to continue this journey? I can promise I’ll make it worth your time.
Jackleen
P.S. What’s your love letter to yourself? Take some time to write on your own and keep it in a box to remind you, or put it in the comments below!
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